You have HOW many kids? You know what causes that? | #parenting
When I was young, I never dreamed that I would end up leading the life that I do.
No one could have ever told me that I would spend my days advocating for natural parenting, blogging, and in marketing (of all things) and you definitely would have never been able to tell me that I would spend my nights helping women give birth.
Let’s not forget… you can bet your britches that at 18… 20… 25… I would have dreamed that I would have four kiddos. Yes. Four. Why on this green earth God decided to bless me that way is beyond me (because yesterday afternoon was pretty stressful and only three of them were home!).
Recently, a friend that I met at church (she taught Jett’s nursery class last year), posted a graphic on her Facebook account. Not really sure the origin of this graphic (I’d love to know), but it’s so true. Her comment along with this graphic was “it’s sad how the comments get meaner the more kids you have”. You know what…. it is sad.
I’m one of three daughters, and after I had Kylie and Braxton, I’m not sure if everyone (family mainly) just assumed we were done or what, but when Hawk came along, the reaction from most was pretty much “you didn’t plan this, did you?” or “you know what causes that?” (which has to be the most STUPID overused comment in the history of ever when it comes to having kiddos.
So it was no surprise to me that I caught flack from my family as well as the general public when I was pregnant with Jett.
Not only was this baby number four, and I obviously didn’t know what caused it, but I planned on having an all natural, medication free childbirth as well as breastfeed, cloth diaper, and a plethora of other stuff that goes along with natural parenting.
I get picked on quite a bit whether it’s at family gatherings or in public places when people ask how many kids I have, but I’ve learned to be proud of my family rather than ashamed of my “gaggle”.
We struggle. Boy, do we struggle with four kids. Although we’re not on any kind of government assistance, we need help from time to time, but aside from what society feels my kids need to live a good life (name brands, on every team, fancy cars, etc.) we’re not poor, and our kids aren’t lacking anything. Recently, a very well respected friend said something to me that I’d like to pass on to you.
To my friend in the nursery, everyone else who has more children than family or society seems is enough for your tolerance, financial status, marital status, work status, or whatever reason, and to those who judge our families based on the number of kids we have, this I say to you:
You have the exact number of children that God intended for you to have. The Good Lord does not make mistakes, nor does He think you have too many kids.
I am saddened by the reactions that we get as a blended family with 5 kids. When people say something, I like to tell them I would have had more! Which I would have, but for health reasons I couldn’t. I believe God blessed me with 3 beautiful girls and 2 wonderful bonus sons. Great post, I love it! 🙂
People really should just mind their own business. Like when people pic on the Duggar family, they have life under control….people should try more to be like them. 🙂
I gotta admit – I am one of the people that lets out a “whhheeewww” when I see people trying to juggle a handful of kids. And I have even said “you know what causes that, right?” Its not meanness – some of it is admiration. For me I knew what I could handle – which was two children, spaced seven years apart. The mom friends that I have that can handle more than that – I honestly bow to you guys. There is no way I could handle it. That is why I made the choice to have a hysto after my second child. lol
I like how you ended this. You’re right, God does give us how many we’re supposed to have. I have three and I think I’m done, but if I were to have another I can only hope it wouldn’t be for a few years…and then I would hope I was done!
I am one of those who never wanted kids, and wasn’t a very good mom. My son is amazing, but I was not into the PTA stuff or pushing him into all kinds of school activities and such. I love him, and wouldn’t take back a single thing, but never wanted any more after I had him. I am all for people having kids, as long as they have them knowing they need to take care of them. I cringe when I see women having baby after baby and are living on welfare, that is when the OMG.. don’t you know what birth control is.. comes out of my mouth! 😉
People will always say something. We are one and done and still, 5+ years after her birth we get comments from people asking when we’ll have another. It’s a personal thing and one no one should be judged for.
I think people will complain no matter what. But you know what, it isn’t their business. It bothers when people ask me when we will have another because we only have one. Well, they don’t know we have been trying for the last couple of years with no luck.
It’s sad really. Back when our grandparents were having kids, it was perfectly normal to see a family with 4+ kids and no one said a thing about it.
I just had my 4th child on Tuesday! We feel so blessed and although it’s not the norm and we often get those type of comments, we feel 4 is a perfect number for us. My cup runneth over!
I have the exact amount I should have but if I had more I might be in the loony bin.
I only have one, but since I was 40 when she was born, I’ve gotten very few Qs about having another.
Cute post. I guess I have the accident, as I have 2 girls and a boy. My mother had seven children. Yikes! I couldn’t even imagine that. God bless her soul.
It is true the weird comments you get. I come from a family of 6 kids and loved having lots of siblings. We have 3 right now and will have 4 or 5 and I could care less what everyone else says. It’s all in what works for your family and nobody should judge how many you have. You are a wonderful mother!!
I have an only child and since I’m an older mother, I get the, “I bet you wish your son had a sibling?” Sigh. I’m perfectly happy with just one child. I also am in awe with those parents with several children.
I guess I fall solidly in the “You obviously want your own reality show freaks” category. I had 5 of my own. Chad had two step-sons that he raised from the time they were toddlers and three boys of his own. So we have a total of 10. Yes, 10. And no, unless they are paying to purchase me a bigger house, I do not want a reality show.
I have six children, 5 boys and the last was our girl. I would get ruder comments and looks with each child. I just don’t get when it became wrong in people’s minds to want a big family. Big families used to be fairly standard.