Why You Should Never, Ever Get Your Kids A Dog
Thinking about getting a dog for your kids? It’s always a good idea to look at both sides of an argument when you’re making a decision as serious as this one. Read on to find out why you should never, ever get your kids a dog…
Your Kids Will Grow Up Faster
With a dog, your kids will grow up faster. This is because a dog encourages their development in numerous ways. A dog will give your kids responsibility when you give them chores regarding walking, feeding, etc. A dog will also help their emotional development, and teach them compassion and empathy. If you want your kids to stay babies for longer, then it’s probably best you don’t treat them to something as amazing as a dog.
Your Kids Will Become Awesome People
A dog turns children into awesome people. Dogs live for 6-15 years depending on factors like breed, health, etc. They are another family member. Your children will have responsibilities regarding the dog for that long, which will make them more willing to do other chores, such as help around the house, clean up after themselves, etc. Not only that, as dogs will teach your children empathy, compassion, and pure unconditional love, they will become some of the most healthy, happy, responsible children you’ve ever met. They’ll then turn into healthy, happy, responsible adults. It’s fair to say that your children will become truly awesome. But when you’re that awesome, there’s got to be some downfall, right? Maybe people will resent your kids for being so awesome. Maybe they’ll get their feelings hurt because all they do is offer unconditional love and compassion. If you want to wrap your kids in cotton wool and make sure they’re not so awesome after all, then a dog is probably a bad idea.
They’ll Always Have Someone Who Is Happy To See Them
When you’re at work, or you can’t be there, a dog will always be happy to see your kids. Even when they’re dispensing pet meds to a poorly dog, they’ll likely wag their tails and give them the same amount of love they always have. Your kids will have constant companionship and support from a dog. Surely it’s better to teach your kids to be comfortable with being alone and unhappy, in preparation for the darker periods of adulthood?
They’ll Probably Get Covered In Hairs and Sloppy Kisses Regularly
Your kids clothes will get covered in hairs, and they’ll likely get covered in sloppy kisses too. Hairs on your kids clothes will say to other people, ‘I’m a dog lover & owner’, which could perhaps deter people with dog allergies, or worse, people who don’t like dogs.
As you can probably tell, this post is written completely in jest. Of course you want your kids to develop well and become truly awesome people. Of course you want your kids to have constant companionship and support. All of the unconditional love will truly make up for a few hairs on their clothes, and why would your kids want to be friends with people who don’t like dogs anyway? That settles it. Better get a dog…