I loathe the call.

MOM, CAN YOU WIPE MY BOTTOM PLEASE?

Earlier, Hawk was on the pot, talking to himself, and I heard said call.

I went into the bathroom.  His face was all contorted and red with tears in his eyes.


Me: Are you done?

Hawk: (strain) I didn’t say anything.

A few minutes later, I go back.

Me: Are you done?

Background Noise: (blooop, bloop)

Hawk: You hear that?  That means I’m still pooping.

I just hid my grin and walked away.  I need to write a book.