By now, most women with gamer husbands have become a Call of Duty Black Ops Widow.

Definition – Black Ops Widow
A woman who has lost those cozy, cuddly nights with her husband or significant other to the Call of Duty game, Black Ops.

I am one of them.

Call of Duty Black Ops

Last night, while Andy was knee deep in only 1 or 2 occasional kills (yes, he’s THAT good. pfft.), I was sitting on the couch playing

agame on my phone.  Every so often, I had a question, or a thought, and in order for him to answer me, he had to fumble for the mute button on his headset in order to say “yes, there’s 2 of them” or “I’m not sure.”

I was thinking, to myself, “was that necessary?”  ANYWAY…  Then, I started to think…..  Is there an etiquette to being a Black Ops Widow?  Should I not talk to my husband for that minimum of 2 hours a night?  Should I go read a book?  Should I watch quietly?  (Sure, I could join him, however, my depth perception is shot, so I have a hard time playing those really fast moving graphic games. I would suggest this if you’re able.)

I needed to think, and my phone was dying, so I went to bed, plugged my phone in, and started thinking about it, and I think I finally came up with:

Black Ops Widow Etiquette

  • When I am able to go to the bathroom, alone, without being interrupted for one full day, you can have one full night of uninterrupted Black Ops time.
  • When I can go one full day without being asked “Can you wipe my hiney?”, you can have one full night of uninterrupted Black Ops time.
  • If there ever comes a day when I don’t hear “mom she hit me!” or “mooooooom, I need water!” or “STOP DOING THAT!”, you can have one full night of uninterrupted Black Ops time.
  • When the laundry stops refilling, when the dishes stop getting dirty, when our family no longer needs food to live, when the floor sweeps itself, and when the be no longer needs making, you can have one full night of uninterrupted Black Ops time.

Until then, keep that Call of Duty Black Ops mute button handy, baby.